The Butterfly
by Alice Aren
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke get thrown back into the near distant past, but Naruto loses his Y chromosome along the way. With war steadily approaching once again, can they stop the coming conflict together? Yes. Yes they can. Naruko x Sasuke, Gender bend
1. Naruto?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

03/01/19: I made a few changes to this chapter, mostly fixing Kakashi's and Yamato's out of character perverseness. It may have diminished some humor, but it was necessary.

**Chapter 1: Naruto?**

"Sasuke," she said laboriously as her eyes fluttered a bit, slightly squirming in the bed. "SASAUKE!" She jerked up, now almost fully awake, as the bed sheet slid down her chest. She took a short breath. "Oww." The quick movement made her already sore muscles ache.

"Well hey there, sugar tits," the silver haired man spoke nonchalantly. "How are you feeling?" His one visible eye glanced at Naruto impassively, and then returned to where it had been the past hour.

Naruto was studying her surroundings as she found the source of the voice sitting comfortably in a chair to her left, holding open a familiar book. "Kakashi? Wait, what the hell did you just say?"

"Sugar. Tits." He motioned his head towards Naruto, eyes still locked on his book.

Naruto, or Sugar Tits rather, looked downward, processing the protruding mounds of flesh on her chest. "Eh?" Come to think of it, she noticed her voice was higher pitched then normal, and beyond the moderate pain and soreness all over her body, she felt _odd_. "Kakashi?" Naruto spoke calmly.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Why am I using a henge?"

"Eheh. Well, that is the question. When you dispelled your clones at the training ground, you passed out, and your body started to…change," Kakashi said while scratching his head.

Naruto had a visible look of confusion. Training ground? She opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it, pondering exactly what was going on. After a moment, she closed her eyes and brought her hands together, forming a hand seal.

"Release!" Naruto opened her eyes and examined her body.

"Release!" Another moment of stillness passed.

"AAAAAAH WHAT THE FUUUUCK!?" she said with her hands on her head.

Kakashi showed no visible reaction. "Relax, Naruto. I'm sure Lady Tsunade will figure it out."

The door to the room was kicked open, surprisingly surviving the impact.

"Watch your language, Naruto! And for god's sake, cover up!" spoke an older blonde woman with a slightly raspy voice as she approached the bed.

"Granny, what is this!?" Naruto, feeling slightly embarrassed, pulled the sheet up while vaguely gesturing at her body.

"Well…we're not entirely sure. When we examined you, we saw no internal or external signs that someone had cast a jutsu on you, or even injured you, save for one. The flow of chakara in your head was disrupted. Not cut off, but it was erratic. You were using many clones for training and dispelling them all at once could take a toll on the body and mind, but you've withstood such feats before and I don't see how that could result in a sex change. Kakashi, eyes up! You're sure no one interacted with Naruto before or after he passed out?"

"Positive, Lady Tsunade. It was just me, Naruto, and Yamato. He released his shadow clones and then passed out as expected. But then I watched his body transform before my very eyes. The transition was…unpleasant to say the least. There was unnatural shifting of flesh and bone for about a minute, and then nothing. Just what we see now remained. He seemed 'ok' after that I suppose, just unconscious It's the same as I said when we brought him to you." Kakashi looked concerned at Naruto. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I...I just feel kinda weak. Like I just finished a training montage with Lee and guy sensei."

"Hmm. Well, make no mistake, Naruto. This is no illusion. Every part of your body, from head to toe, is female. Congrats, Gaki! This calls for a toast!"

A small amount of vomit jumped up Naruto's throat, followed buy a short but wet cough. "Isn't there any way to fi- "

Unable to further cope with this exchange completely sober, Tsunade pulled out a hidden sake bottle from her pouch, took a hefty swig, and then returned the bottle to its resting place. "I don't know yet, gaki. But if there is a way, I promise I'll find it."

"Could I- " Kakashi sighed upon realizing the sake was already out of sight.

Naruto, half paying attention to the older woman, tried to discretely feel for her crotch under the sheets. Upon not feeling anything familiar, her eyes grew wide and her face paled. She quickly yanked her hand back, not ready to further explore this new territory.

"H-How long have I been asleep?"

"About…3 days."

Naruto tried to collect herself but had a thousand different questions racing through her mind until one of them won out. "Hey granny? Where are my clothes?"

"We removed them for the examination when you were brought in. Sorry to say but we had to be thorough. Your sensei has been by your side in the hospital every day since." While she treasured her relationship with the young blonde, she knew Naruto was one of Kakashi's last remaining bonds. One that he would die to protect.

"Eheh. A sensei should be there for his student, no?" Kakashi responded sheepishly.

"Your clothes are in the dresser next to you. Though I didn't think your former outfit would fit you anymore, for obvious reasons, so I bought you a more suitable set."

Naruto took a deep breath. While she wasn't exactly looking forward to 'a more suitable set,' she knew her old clothes may not really fit anymore. "Okay. Thank you, granny."

"Hey, there's something in there from me too," Kakashi spoke in an upbeat tone.

Tsunade gave Kakashi a confused glance. "Do I even want to know?"

Kakashi just held his cheery grin, not responding.

"That's nice Kakashi sensei. Anyway granny, is pervy sage in the village?" she asked with a hint of hope in her voice.

"No, he's out gathering intel, but he should be returning to village soon."

Naruto felt a wave of joy wash over her, knowing she may yet see the older man again. Her voice took on a more serious tone. "Okay, in that case, I need to talk to you guys alone, in granny's office." She wasn't ambitious to explain her other situation.

"Why not here?"

"This is something I only trust you two with. For now, the more privacy the better. Let me change and I'll meet you guys there."

Unbeknownst to them, a certain eavesdropper happened to catch the exchange from outside the room, before taking their leave.

"Are you going to be able to make it there on your own? Don't push yourself."

Having gone through hell and back, Naruto forgot what it was like to vulnerable, and decided to reject the idea of accepting help with such a simple task. "I'll be fine. What about you sensei? I mean you are getting older these days and your legs have gone to shit...maybe Guy sensei could give you a piggy back ride there?"

Tsunade tried to conceal her snorts and giggles, no longer concerned with Naruto's language now that she was buzzed. _At least he kept his sense of humor_, Tsunade thought to herself.

"Ouch. Guess I'll grab Lee for you as well. Seeya there." Kakashi stood up and casually walked out the door feeling glad that the words coming out of _her _mouth were the same as before. He didn't need the Sharingan to see that beyond the physical changes, everything was the same. Probably.

"Take it slow, Gaki. Your body may still be catching up with the change. We'll meet you there." Tsunade began to leave but stopped abruptly. "And Naruto, if anyone bothers you for any reason, let me know." Tsunade could tell Naruto's new form would act like a magnet to all kinds of trash. Something Naruto probably had no experience with.

_That was weird. _Naruto sighed in relief, now having the room to herself.

"Oh shit! I completely forgot." She closed her eyes, quickly linking her thoughts with her inner demon.

"Kurama, you there?"

"…What do you want, brat?"

"Wait, you don't remember?"

"Remember what? The last time you bothered me for power?"

"No, what? The war, the tailed beasts, your other ha- "

"The hell are you talking about, kid?"

"Shit. You really don't- "

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Kurama suddenly burst out, no longer able to contain himself.

"Whaa?"

"Heheheh. Sorry Naruto, it gets boring down here sometimes, y'know? I just couldn't resist."

"You son of a bitch! You really had me in the first half, not gonna lie. You've been watching the whole time?"

"Well, yeah. I may have taken a spa break here and there while you were unconscious, but otherwise I saw the whole thing."

"Thank god. I have no idea how I'm gonna explain all this to granny and Kakashi sensei. Think you can help ya boy out a bit?"

"Well, not only are you using the incorrect pronoun, but- "

"Oh, shaddup I don't wanna hear it. Wait, how are you even _aware_ of pronouns?"

"Well, since you asked, I did take some English electives awhile back."

"Really? How did you even manage to go to cla- "

"NO I DID NOT TAKE ENGLISH ELECTIVES, YOU FUCKING RETARD. I've learned your language through your, and my former hosts' experiences. I see your intellect hasn't changed between genders."

"…Are you implying something sexist, Kurama?"

"I'm not helping you explain this. Good luck, _girl._"

Naruto let out a long sigh. "Alright fine, I'll figure it out. At least riddle me this, Professor X. Why are we here, and why am I like this?"

"As for why we're here, I'd say it was from the clash."

"Yeah I figured that could be it, but we've done it before and it never- "

"Hey, that's just my guess. I don't know why it would only happen this time. Maybe it needed to be on a larger scale."

"Meh, I guess," Naruto said, not at all satisfied with the answer.

"As for the latter, well…I think you know why."

"No."

"Don't try to hide it. I saw your mind."

"No-no-no-no. This is not at all what I- "

"I don't judge, Naruto. You must have known _something _like this- "

"NO! HELL NO! I GOTTA GO, BYE," Naruto blurted out quickly before shutting out Kurama as if she was hanging up a phone.

"What an ass…"

Naruto eased her way to the side of the bed, reluctantly letting the sheets reveal her naked form, before planting her feet on the cold floor. As she stood up, she staggered a bit, feeling slightly off balance from her new junk in new places. In this moment she became aware that she'd have to peer over her breasts to see her feet.

"Well that's annoying."

Noticing the wall mirror next to the dresser, she made her way over to examine her new body, physically trembling and mentally dreading what she'd see.

"Oh…"

Immediately she was drawn in by her new face: same whiskers, same blue eyes, but overall much _softer_. Her eyebrows were thinner, eyelashes longer, while her nose, jawline, and chin were less prominent. The outline of her face was framed by straight, but messy blonde hair down to beneath her chin while her forehead was draped with flowing bangs. Towards the back of her head, her hair cascaded well behind her back.

Her eyes wandered downward, gazing at the voluptuous chest before her. The twins were round but perky, almost defying gravity, and had nipples that were a tinge or two pinker than Naruto's default tan skin tone. Naruto knew nothing about gauging cup size. She also hadn't seen too many bare breasts up close, save for one "accident" with Tsunade in the hot springs. But she estimated that they must've been at least around Hinata's size, maybe even approaching Tsunade's gargantuan grannies. Naruto decided to give a quick squeeze. "Mmm." Or two.

While the sensation was great, she was surprised that a known pervert such as herself didn't feel entranced by the sight of her chest, like she normally would have, but quickly dismissed the thought.

Continuing down, her abdomen still held traces of visible muscle tone, but had lost much of its definition. "Damn, I might need to cut back on the ramen...actually let's not and say we did." Her waist had also diminished, giving her torso much curviness. Naruto paused and closed her eyes, mentally preparing for the next sight to behold.

Upon opening them, she realized that where she used to have a moderate amount of pubic hair, her skin was now completely smooth and hair free. "Hopefully they didn't do that during my 'examination.'" Below that, a small amount of the fold of her vagina was visible from the front, with her clitoris practically invisible, tucked behind the fold. Naruto was relieved to see that there wasn't any void-like monster in her crotch. In fact, it looked _soft._ Naruto wanted to feel it and started to bring her hand down to further explore her genitals, but stopped herself, not yet able to go through with it. She then noticed that there was now a gap between her thighs, just below her new equipment.

Scanning her upper thighs, she saw that her hips had expanded too. In fact, she now had a definitive hour glass figure.

Scrolling down her legs, she noticed more body hair was missing. "Wait, what about...?" She lifted her arms one at a time, checking for armpit hair, but none was found. "Damn, did all my hair just go straight to my head?"

She then discovered that her hands seemed more petite than they used to be. Leaning forward and gazing down, she found similar traits in her feet. "Hopefully granny got me a new pair of sandals, too."

"Hmm…I should probably take some notes for sexy jutsu," _if I ever get to use it again_, "but that's enough self-inspection for today." Naruto reached for the top dresser drawer only to suddenly stop halfway.

_Wait a second._

Naruto turned around, back facing the mirror, and peered over her shoulder. "Oh, my lord."

Her hair had been longer than expected, falling all the way down to bottom of her lower back. What concerned her though was not her hair, but rather what was below it.

"Just when I thought it was over. But you just had to _butt in_, didn't you?"

_Oh man, what is my life coming to?_

Naruto's large, protruding bubble butt had nothing to comment, but if it could, it would have voluntarily defecated.

Sick of being naked, Naruto finally opened the drawer, pulling out the neat, folded pile of clothing. On top was a matching black lace bra and panty set, then a black fishnet crop top, followed by a pair of black open toed, thigh high tights.

Before she could complain about the singular color theme, her eyes were met with an abundance of orange in the remainder of the pile. She found what looked like her usual orange and black jacket, but upon closer inspection she noticed slight differences; the sleeves were shorter, and the jacket looked like it would cling to her skin more tightly. Complementing the jacket was a pair of orange short shorts.

"Fuck me. Was this the kind of shit granny wore at my age?"

Lastly, Naruto pulled out a brand-new pair of black ninja sandals, along with a tied-up bag that had a note attached.

_Thought this might cheer you up, my treat! – Kakashi_

Naruto peered into the bag and pulled out a coupon for Ichiraku: '5 FREE BOWLS CHEF'S SPECIALTY RAMEN!'

_Oh sweet lord thank you Master Kakashi._

After placing the coupon down, Naruto began changing into her new outfit.

* * *

A brand-new woman, both literally and figuratively speaking, slowly walked along Konoha's main road towards the Hokage's office.

With every step, her muscles protested.

_This fucking sucks ow ow ow these tits are swaying ow ow ow._

Though the pain was uncomfortable, it kept her ignorant of the abundance of eyes glancing, or even downright staring at her when she passed by.

_Almost there, kami thank you._

"Well, hey there sugar tits."

Naruto stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to face who she expected was her sensei on thin ice. "This shit again? Oh… hey Kiba." Naruto didn't realize that pretending to not know Kiba would have been a better choice, until after the fact.

Naruto now had to look slightly upwards to meet his former classmates' eyes, whereas they used to be eye to eye. _Damn__,__ how short did I get?_

Kiba's lascivious grin was replaced by one of confusion. "Have we met before, girly?"

"Nope, definitely not! My mistake!"

As Naruto began to turn around, Kiba made an audible sniffing noise. His eyes grew wide. "Uuuuh, Naruto?"

"Eheh, um, well, you see Kiba, I was practicing the sexy jutsu and- "

Kiba interrupted with another audible sniff. His eyes grew even wider, before taking on an expression of excitement. "Holy shit it is you! How long have you been like this? How did it happen? And why are you dressed like a slut?"

Naruto tried to ignore his rapid fire of questions, until the last one, and slapped him upside the head. "These clothes were a gift, you asshole. And are you saying you only try to score with sluts?"

"Are you confirming that you are one?" Kiba asked raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Naruto slapped him upside the head again. "No, you mongoloid. Listen, I'm gonna find a way to fix this. In the meantime, I want you to keep this quiet, or I will castrate you and feed it to Akamaru!"

* * *

"Could it really be possible?"

The door to the Hokage's office was tightly shut, lights were dimmed, and dark curtains drawn.

"Hell yeah it's possible, believe it!"

Kakashi was leaning against the wall, chin in his hand. "He's really alive, after all this time?"

"Shit yeah, he is. I guarantee you he's out there right now, probably looking for Sasuke."

"And you and the nine tails really- "

"Fuck yeah, we did! We're like bffs now." Naruto was proud of her relatively new relationship with her inner demon, despite the recent set back. Taming the nine-tails was no easy task, and she would flaunt it when she could.

"What about Sasuke though? Did he – "

Tsunade anxiously interrupted "but how are we supposed to prevent the attack on the village?! And what about Jiraiya!? How do we- "

"Lady Tsunade!" Kakashi spoke authoritatively.

"Y-yes?"

"Slow down. Let's not jump the gun and get too excited, shall we?"

"O-ok, Kakashi."

Kakashi smiled warmly. "Good. Now, Naruto, a question if I may."

"Sure, what's up Kakashi-sensei?"

"Do you remember what we were doing in the training grounds before you were brought back?"

"Well yeah of course! You and Yamato were helping me with the Rasenshuriken. Speaking of which, where is Yamato?"

"_Right here." _Yamato spoke as he stepped out of the dark corner in Naruto's peripheral vision dressed in Anbu gear. His face gave off an intensity that would have frightened Naruto even if she hadn't been startled.

"OH SHIT!" Naruto jumped up like a scared cat, nearly bumping her head on the ceiling. "Yamato! What the hell are you doing?!"

Yamato's face softened to more socially acceptable resting expression. "Sorry Naruto, I had been keeping tabs on you from a distance, on the off chance someone deliberately did this to you."

"Wait…no…no you couldn't have?" _Did he see me in the hospital room?_

"Could have what?" Yamato had no idea what she was referring to. In fact, he wouldn't since he had only been patrolling the area around the hospital everyday. He knew any threats up close Kakashi would manage.

"You…you son of a bitch." Naruto began to roll up her sleeve.

Kakashi interjected. "Naruto! Calm down. Everyone here is concerned about you." Kakashi's comment didn't help her growing blush after assuming she'd been spied on.

"Uugh…fine. What were you asking me again?"

"Very good. Now in this future of yours, or _ours_ I suppose, did you master the Rasenshuriken?"

"Yeah, you could say that," Naruto said with a sly expression.

"Ok, show me."

"…. You mean right in here!?"

"Yup."

"Are you sure? I mean, it's kinda dangerous…"

"Yup. I'm positive. And if anything goes wrong, I'll protect us. Promise." Though it was a last resort, Kakashi was prepared to use the Mangekyou.

"O-ok sensei."

Kakashi, Tsunade and Yamato stared intently, until Naruto raised her right pointer finger upwards, to which all exchanged a confused look.

"Naruto I'm not kidding arou- "

"LET'S GO, KURAMA!"

In a flash the entire room was illuminated by Naruto's bright yellow and orange chakara, flooding from her entire body along with the transformation's package deal cloak.

"Mini Rasenshuriken!"

Tiny glowing tendril-like hands extended from the sides of the tip of her finger and started to form a blue sphere of chakara above, followed by a rigid, circular wind plane rotating along the horizontal axis of the sphere. Despite the small size of the jutsu, its density produced moderate wind currents in the small office.

Both Kakashi and Tsunade's mouths were agape, trying to take in the depths of how powerful Naruto had become, despite only being shown a fraction of it. Yamato held out his palms, preparing to counter the nine tails if needed.

Naruto's Rasenshuriken started to wind down, and the chakara began to dissipate in the wind until it was no more. Her chakara cloak followed suit, and she was instantly back to her normal appearance…kind of. "How about that, huh?"

The display suddenly took its toll on Naruto in the form of fatigue. Her legs buckled, and she fell on her behind.

"Naruto! Are you alright?" Tsunade crouched down next to her now goddaughter.

"Ouch. Y-yeah, just a bit…sleepy…" Naruto passed out and started to fall backwards until Tsunade caught her back.

"She needs more rest…she's definitely earned it." Tsunade gently patted her head. "Kakashi, toss me those hair ties on my desk. This girl is a mess."

"Sure thing. Wait…did she say 'mini?'"

* * *

Candle lights flickered against the stone walls as a restless body tossed and turned in bed.

"Oh? Are you awake?"

Sasuke was in a cold sweat as he opened his eyes.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hello there! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. This is actually my first fanfic, not to mention my first piece of recreational writing. So please do not hesitate to give me any and all feedback! I can take a hit. I'd like to say I'll release another chapter every week, each being roughly 2000 words plus, maybe more. Thanks again.

Special thanks to **The Jingo **for coaching and giving me great advice on writing the story. He's a seasoned writer here who has written Naruko fanfics and many others. Check him out!

Side note: This story is strongly influenced by two other Naruto fanfics that I've read: "Reload" and "I think I." I highly recommend them.


	2. Departures

03/01/19: Minor changes

**Chapter 2: Departures**

* * *

Candle lights flickered against the stone walls as a restless body tossed and turned in bed.

"Oh? Are you awake?"

Sasuke was in a cold sweat as he opened his eyes.

"K-Kabuto?" The lights started coming on in the back of his mind. "Where's Naruto!?"

"Naruto? You left Naruto in the dust a couple weeks ago, along with the other leaf ninja, remember?"

"What are you ta-" Sasuke stopped himself as he closely examined the room around him. _Stone walls. Candles. Kabuto's normal appearance. Overall slithery vibe from the room. Strange._

"What happened to me?"

"I hate to admit it, but I'm not sure. You were training with Lord Orochimaru and then you just collapsed. You've been out for a few days and I've been monitoring your condition, but I just can't make sense of it. Everything about you seems normal except for one thing that has us concerned. You've lost your curse mark. It's just…gone."

Sasuke reached to feel the back of his neck. "I see." _Well I'll be damned. _Sasuke turned his legs off the side of the bed and began stretching his arms and back. His tight muscles screamed in joy after the prolonged lack of use.

"Kabuto, I need to speak with Orochimaru" he spoke confidently.

Kabuto found it to be an odd request since Sasuke doesn't usually 'speak with' people, nor would he ask Kabuto to escort him anywhere. "…Alright, I'll take you to him. Follow me."

Sasuke hopped off the bed, threw on his standard white robe, and followed Kabuto out the door. The outside hallway looked virtually the same as his room, save for its seemingly unending pathways. He had almost forgotten how dreary Orochimaru's hideouts were.

After walking for what felt like an hour, the pair approached closed wooden double doors.

"Kabuto, are we there yet?" Sasuke spoke with a hint of bad attitude.

Kabuto rolled his eyes and brought his fist to the door. _Knock knock. _"Lord Orochimaru, may we come in?"

"'We?' Yes, come in."

Kabuto pushed open the doors and Sasukes's eyes fell on the poor, bedridden Orochimaru. His sheets were soaked with sweat and his face was paler than usual.

"You look like shit, Orochimaru."

Kabuto angrily stared at Sasuke. _How dare he insult snake daddy!_

"Ahh, Sasuke. Courteous as always. Care to explain what happened to your curse mark? Do you even know?" Even though Orochimaru gave off a carefree attitude, he was very nervous something was amiss with his would be vessel.

"Not really. I've come to tell you that you don't have to worry about killing Itachi anymore."

"What are you saying? You mean to tell me you've forgiven that fu- "

"And I'm leaving for the leaf village."

Orochimaru burst into a coughing fit, hacking up blood mixed with other bodily fluids.

Kabuto rushed to his side presenting a glass of water like a student giving their teacher an apple. "Lord Orochimaru, please- "

He smacked the glass of water away, shattering it against the floor. "Get that shit out of my face!"

Kabuto cried internally as he slowly backed away from his enraged master.

"Sasuke…what is the meaning of this?"

"Things have changed. I no longer require your training. You'll have to find another host. And I have unfinished business to settle."

"…And if I deny this expedition of yours?"

Sasuke's expression towards Orochimaru shifted to a darker one as he closed his eye lids for a moment and reopened them with the Mangekyou Sharingan in his right eye, and the Rinne Sharingan in his left.

"Then you'll lose more than just an Uchiha host…you'll lose your life." _I'm so fucking cool. _

"What!? Those eyes...How is that possible!?"

"Who knows? But there are more important things than jutsu and Uchias. Which is why I must move on. I suggest you do the same. Till next time." _I guess I could make a few pit stops before I get there._

"Move on? That's rich coming from you, Uchiha bra- "

Sasuke's left eye widened, and then he disappeared instantly before Orochimaru could finish his sentence.

Kabuto and Orochimaru quizzically stared at the empty space Sasuke left behind.

"What kind of meds did you give him, you imbecile?"

* * *

"You're absolutely out of your skull, man. You really believe it?"

"I completely agree. You may be handicapped, but this is truly pushing the limits of your autism."

"Now come on guys, let us hear him out with an open mind. I for one think this could rather exciting!"

"I'm not even gonna ask, Lee. But I swear to you guys, my nose doesn't lie."

A low growl could be heard by all sitting at the table. "_Foood."_

A waiter swiftly approached the young men's table. "Hey, sorry for the wait! So, what can I get for you fellas?"

"OH BOY! I'll have chicken, spicy beef, marinated short rib, beef brisket, garlic shrimp- "

"Choji! Vegetables!"

"…and edamame please!"

"Alright, how about you?"

"Uuuh, just spicy chicken for me."

"I'll have mixed vegetables thank you."

"And for you guys?"

"I'll have filet mignon and spicy tuna hell yeah!"

"I will order exactly what Choji has ordered, and if I cannot eat it all, I will discretely follow Naruto while walking on my hands for 100 miles!"

"…Alrighty then, the food will be out shortly."

"Really Lee, 'discretely follow?' I think you mean stalk."

"No, Neji! I would never do that! You have my word!" Lee had a large, genuine grin and presented Neji with a thumbs up, to which Neji scoffed.

"As I was saying, there is no doubt in my mind _he _is a_ she."_

"Preposterous. It's absurd!"

"Now just think for a second. Is it not possible that this is some elaborate prank? I mean Naruto's made a fool out you before, Kiba. Not to mention you as well Neji."

Neji turned his head away pretending he didn't hear the comment.

"Can you describe the encounter in further detail? Maybe give Neji and Shikamaru something to chew on?"

"Sure. Well you see, he was kinda dressed like a slut to be honest. I didn't even know it was him till I took a whiff! But if you don't believe I know sex by smell, then believe this: The clothes he was wearing were without a doubt real. I could still smell the stores they came from. How do you explain that?"

"Idiot. Obviously, all part of the façade."

A waiter and waitress approached the table, each carrying two platters of raw meats. "Here's your food guys, enjoy!"

"ABOUT TIME, TURN UP THE HEAT." Choji turned the grill's heat on max and began placing the mixed meats on the grill evenly spaced, and with inhuman precision and speed.

"C'mon Choji, save some room for the rest of us!"

Rock Lee scanned the platters in horror. "We ordered THIS much food?"

"Well Neji, it most definitely was not a façade." Kiba had small smirk on his face, much to the Hyuga's displeasure.

"And why is that?"

"Because when I called HER out on it, she became all fussy and told me she was gonna find a way to 'fix it.' Hmm…I think she said something else, but I can't remember."

"Are you for real!?"

"Amazing."

"Mmph…food so good."

"Nonsense! There must be a logical explanation!"

"What a drag. Well I'm convinced. Neji, do you think your Byakugan could tell for sure?"

"Well of course it could! What do you take me for, some mutt!?" Neji gestured with his arm, knocking off a piece of marinated short rib from the table. Shikamaru's eyes widened in fear.

Time stopped as Choji disappeared from his place between Neji and Shikamaru, reappearing in a crouched position on the side of the table, said marinated short rib caught between his chopsticks. He then began to slowly stand up with a fowl look on his face.

Neji recoiled in shock, followed by fear. "Ugh! Choji I- "

"Now listen here, Hyuga fuck boy. I want you to take your ass, along with all your doubts on the subject of Naruto's sex change, which we all respect and support her for in these trying times, and get the hell out there to see for yourself before a different piece of severed meat is between these chopsticks."

Neji remained in his seat, speechless.

Kiba raised his glass in the air. "Cheers Choji, I'll drink to that."

"I'm afraid you are underage, Kiba. But I will toast with you anyway!"

"That's never stopped you, Lee." Neji muttered under his breath.

Feeling the conversation resume amongst the others, Choji felt it was time to reach out to his best friend. "Shikamaru?"

"Uuh yeah Choji?"

"I'm ready. Let's grab Ino and finish this."

* * *

_Knock knock. _

"Naruto? It's Sakura, c'mon we gotta go. Lady Tsunade has sum- "

The shoddy apartment door opened slowly, revealing a certain drowsy, busty blonde with two long twin tails in the doorway, wearing only a bra and panties.

_NARUTO HAS A GIRL OVER!?_ _WHAT!? _"Oh! Umm hi, I'm looking for Naruto. Is he in there?" _That fucker better have a good explanation._

"Wha- Sakura? What is it, what's going on?" she said with little enthusiasm.

"Wait. Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"NARUTOO!"

_Oh shit whoops _"Heyy Sakura, right I forgot sorry, listen I- "

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?" Sakura wound up for a punch, only planning on using about two percent max power.

"No wait Sakura please! There's a perfectly reasonable- "

Sakura's fist connected with Naruto's gut, blasting him straight down the hall and into the nearest wall. "IDIOT!"

She walked towards his corpse like body, expecting the jutsu to have been released. "What the?" Instead Sakura found her foaming from the mouth, and still very female. "That's weird…maybe I didn't hit hard enough." Sakura wound back her right foot, intending to connect it with Naruto's head.

"Sakura, stop!"

She turned to look towards the doorway, finding Naruto's _wood-_be savior. "Hmm? Yamato? What are you doing here?"

_So sadistic... _"I knew this would happen. Sakura listen to me, Naruto's not using sexy jutsu or trying to prank you in any way."

_Could he have made a clone transform into Yamato too? Only one way to find out. _

"And I'm not a Naruto clone. Just calm down and help me get her dressed. Lady Tsunade will explain the rest."

_Well I guess it can't be a clone. The real Naruto doesn't know how rhyme; he couldn't even do it on accident. _"Well alright."

* * *

Yamato and Sakura entered the Hokage's office, holding Naruto up by the shoulders between them.

"There you three are, what took you so long?" Tsunade closely looked over her goddaughter, proud of Naruto's new look that she was happy to take all the credit for, and then noticed Naruto's half-conscious look on her face. Immediately Tsunade glared at her prodigy. "What did YOU do?"

"M-my lady, Naruto is obviously trying to pull the wool over your eyes. I just- "

"You JUST attacked an innocent GIRL. I conducted a complete medical exam on Naruto. The form before you is real, and here to stay."

Naruto was slowly coming back to reality, taking in the intense conversation happening in front of her.

"I-I-but how?" Sakura was more concerned with her Master's displeasure than the subject at hand.

"We don't know how. But nevertheless, I expect you to support and respect your teammate as you have always done. In fact, no, MORE than you have always done since all you have done is whine and burden those around you. You have become strong and mature enough to handle it, and I have faith that you will. The price you pay if you do not is…" Tsunade stealthily used a transformation jutsu on the sake bottle under her desk, pulling out a bloody decapitated head of Ebisu and holding it by the hair. "I take your fucking head. Just like this fucker here!" _That oughtta scare her straight._

Everyone in the room could see through the simple deception, save for Sakura who was stricken with shock. She knew her sensei probably did some bad shit, but this confirmed it.

Sai remained just outside the office, keeping tabs on the conversation and peered in to see Tsunade holding a head with no body attached. _It would seem Danzo was right to be concerned. _He held no visible reaction but was taking a mental note that this might be something to report to the authorities. Although, Danzo is the highest authority so he would be most suitable, yes.

Yamato was looking downward, a wide smile on his face, feeling the small extent of joy his funny bone would grant. Naruto on the other hand, had tears of joy streaming down her face, an inch away from bursting out laughing. She was never prouder of granny than in this moment. _Oh kami. Oh fuck, oh fuck. I can't. Sakura's gonna know. _Naruto used every source of will power at her disposal to keep her composure, and her head low. Her eyes even started to retain Kurama's pattern from syphoning his chakara.

Sakura was trembling and struggling to hold back tears. All those times she relied on Naruto to save her weighed heavily on her mind. She gazed at poor Naruto: lost his manhood and then gets attacked by his teammate. She looked over Naruto's depressed, sunken figure and spotted the tears running down Naruto's face. _Oh no, Naruto. _Then she gazed down at Naruto's chest, immediately comparing it to her own, and almost renounced her sympathy. _Goddammit._

Tsunade put away the mock severed head back in her desk and a small, muffled poof could be barely heard which Naruto found just as hilarious. "Now, Naruto, are you with us?"

She took a long and deep breath, trying to clear all signs of any positive emotion. "Y-yeah granny, sorry…still a bit sleepy."

Sai casually entered the room. "Ah Hokage, sorry I'm late, what's going on?"

"Good, Sai here has already had your physical situation explained to him, Naruto. And he is…in full support."

"Hey, Dickless. Guess my nickname for you really does suit you. In fact, one could say it was meant to be" Sai said while sporting his classic fake smile.

"Meh." Naruto rolled her eyes. At least the insult was true this time.

"Anyway, I've gathered the four of you for an urgent mission."

"A mission!? Oh, sweet! I can't remember the last time I had a mission!"

Sai and Sakura looked at Naruto strangely. "Uuuh, bim-brain? We just came back from a mission to rescue Sasuke, remember?"

"Oh…right. So, what's the mission?"

"You four will head out to support Kakashi and the remainder of Team Asuma. You are to leave the village now."

_Kakuzu… _"Roger that, granny, let's go guys."

Yamato stepped forward. "Actually, I'm still your squad leader so I say when. Thank you, Lady Tsunade. Alright team, let's head out."

Naruto stepped farther in front of Yamato. "Actually, my knowledge in these matters puts me in command. C'mon guys, team Naruto out!"

Tsunade settled the dispute. "Naruto leads this time, sorry Yamato."

"Hell yeah! Better luck next time, wood man."

"At least I have wood…"

"Hey! I'm demoting you to footstool from now- "

Tsunade stood up, slamming her desk in the process, leaving slight cracked depressions in the wood surface. "If the four of you don't leave now, I'm throwing you out the window!"

* * *

Konoha's main gate stood tall in the morning light as one determined ninja, and three not-so-determined ninja approached. The guards were either too lazy or too tired to re-examine the squadron. Striking blonde hair flowing in the wind was enough to give them an idea, despite it being in the form of two long twin tails. The squadron came together for a pre-mission conference.

"Ok guys, so you all understand the plan, right?"

Multiple and overlapping confused groans could be heard in response.

"Um, dickless? You haven't told us any plan. You just kept talking about how much you _need_ Ramen the whole way here."

Naruto let out a sigh, shaking her head. "Ok, ok. Sorry, I thought it would be obvious and implied, but I guess I gotta spell it out for ya." She knew her teammates weren't the sharpest tools in the shed, but this was unacceptable.

Sai interjected. "Naruto, your ramen dilemma didn't imply anything other than the fact that you are overly fixated with ramen. Do you even know what 'implied' means? I guess half of your brain went to your breasts. That volume certainly didn't come from your di-"

"Hey! You better choose your words carefully! There are…ladies present." Naruto spoke as femininely as she could, experimentally trying to use her predicament to her advantage, but ultimately failing as Sakura could see right through her shit eating grin.

"You're the only damn lady here, _Naruto._" Sakura stopped to recompose herself, remembering what Lady Tsunade had told her.

"So, you really are a man then Sakura? I always wondered why you were so flat." Sai held no regard for the potential consequences of his words.

Naruto slowly turned towards her pink haired teammate. "Yeah Sakura, I think a lady would watch her fucking language, no?"

Yamato's patience was at his limit. It seemed not much had changed since their last mission, which ultimately failed. Complete children. "Naruto! The plan already!"

Naruto felt extremely inconvenienced to have to explain. "Fine. We're going to support Kakashi and Team Asuma in order to take down two dangerous Akatsuki members. But the only person who will actually need support when we get there will be Kakashi sensei. We're fighting an enemy who literally steals people's hearts. So, I want you three to pull Kakashi out of the fight and join Ino and Choji on the sidelines. Heal em' up, stay far back, and watch while I use my super awesome cool jutsu to finish off the Akatsuki member, 'kay? Any questions?"

Sakura was the first to speak up. "Wait wait wait wait. Now I have multiple concerns about this 'plan' of yours. But more important than anything else, where is Shikamaru during all this? His skills should be invaluable! Is he just going to sit on the sidelines as well?"

"Oh, Shikamaru? He'll be busy facing the other Akatsuki member on his own. He won't need us." She expressed her disinterest with a slight shrug.

Yamato began to panic. "What!? Naruto, you mean to let one of your comrades face an Akatuski on his own!? Have you completely lost your mind!?"

Sai kept his composure and had the bright idea to ask the right question. "Naruto, how do you know all this? I know you've dealt with them before but listen, I- "

"No, YOU listen. Lady Tsunade left me in charge of the squad, and for good reason. I know 'all this' well…because. Trust me. And if you guys try to help out, you might just _explode._"

Naruto peered over Sai's shoulder towards the village as she could have sworn she saw a strange green figure in the distance. _Must've been my imagination._

* * *

**Author's note:**

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the second chapter. Thanks for all the favs, follows and comments on the first one! Just wanted to say that only after I had finished most of this chapter did I start to think maybe I need more narrative in the writing overall to balance out the dialogue. What do you think? This is still very much an experimental learning experience for me, so any comments, concerns, and criticisms will be much appreciated! Till next time.


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